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Monday, April 30. 2007

zombies vs ninjas

There has been a lot of debate recently about what the outcome would be in a fight between ninjas and zombies.

Obviously, in a one on one fight, the ninja would win. In a fight between ten ninjas and ten zombies, it's pretty obvious the ninjas would still win (I think). In a fight between ten zombies and one ninja, I'd still put my money on the ninja.

So where's the line? A world wide zombie plague? How many ninjas would that take to defeat?

Things to consider:

- The Inverse Ninja Law
- The relative ease for the group to grow. Obviously it takes a lot of time for ninjas to multiply - ninja training is rather time consuming and complicated, in comparison to the ease of spreading zombie plague.
- Even more worrying, the danger of ninja zombies.

So I'm going to need some sort of very complicated formula and graphs to demonstrate at what point the number of ninjas, the number of zombies, and the effect of both the Inverse Ninja Law and the Ease of Growth.

Go, lazyweb, go.
Posted by Penny at 01:12 | Comments (14) | Trackback (1)
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An important point to think about would also be how the battle was fought. Historically ninja have been portraited as sneak up behind for the kill. Yes they can deal with an open charging battle but they are no different to any other 'soldier' in that field of play.

I think you'd need something in your formula about the battle field ... more ninja would be needed in an open field, less in the sneaky sneaky scenario.
#1 Ian on 2007-04-30 01:32 (Reply)
In the sneaky sneaky you'd find the 'kill rate' would be lower over time ... longer time for less kills (giving the zombies more time to grow their ranks). But at the same time I would expect a higher ninja survival rate, meaning that a ninja could complete more kills.
#1.1 Ian on 2007-04-30 01:39 (Reply)
This whole thing really fails to take into account where the Pirates come into this. As we know, Pirates are the mortal enemies of Ninjas everywhere.
Are the Pirates and Zombies in some kind of piratico-zombie alliance? Would Pirates join with their sworn Ninja enemies to fight off the imminent Zombie threat? The ramifications could be immense....
#2 Joff (Homepage) on 2007-04-30 02:13 (Reply)
That's true, although surely the pirates would do whatever necessary to serve their own interest. Including changing sides at random.

What if they turned out to be zombie pirates, a la Pirates of the Caribbean?
#2.1 Penny Leach (Homepage) on 2007-04-30 02:27 (Reply)
It turns out we have also failed to consider the velociraptor constant, v, and the Jack Bauer constant, b.
#3 Penny Leach (Homepage) on 2007-04-30 02:42 (Reply)
You guys are forgetting another force to be reckoned with:

Zombies v Ninjas v Pirates v Ponies

I reckon whoever joined forces with the Ponies would win since then they can ride like cavalry rather than infantry. Yeehah!
#4 Andy Chilton (Homepage) on 2007-04-30 04:18 (Reply)
I love ponies
#4.1 Penny Leach (Homepage) on 2007-04-30 04:19 (Reply)
At any rate, we'd do well to learn from the experts as to how to survive a zombie attack..
http://youtube.com/watch?v=2ynXBMgLEbM
#5 Joff (Homepage) on 2007-04-30 04:21 (Reply)
totally need to watch that when not at work.
#5.1 Penny Leach (Homepage) on 2007-04-30 04:36 (Reply)
I have a natural barrier against watching youtube at work... no Flash player for 64-bit linux yet.. and too lazy to install a 32-bit build of Firefox :(
#5.1.1 Joff (Homepage) on 2007-04-30 04:45 (Reply)
:( I had the same problem with powerpc. I now have a mac mini running mac os x running next to my x86 debian box. Mac os x does skype, itunes and youtube for me :)
#5.1.1 Penny Leach (Homepage) on 2007-04-30 04:46 (Reply)
What kind of zombies? What kinds of ninja? You have no idea how complex a complete theoretical analysis of this likely situation could be...

If we're looking at the zombies out of "28 days", then ninja zombies are way dangerous, since it's a disease transmitted by blood, and ninja's are hardly blood phobic (don't know the technical term for that).

If we're looking at zombies out of "The Walking Dead" (comic), then unless the ninjas kill each other, I'd always bet on the ninjas.

You've got yourself into a doozie of a pickle here!
#6 Travis Cottreau (Homepage) on 2007-04-30 04:45 (Reply)
I think it would have to be your generic sort of really stupid bitey brain eating slow moving zombies.

In which case, ninjas can definitely outsmart them, but it all depends on the numbers I think. Ian has a good point too about open battle field vs sneaky sneaky.
#6.1 Penny Leach (Homepage) on 2007-04-30 04:48 (Reply)
i think that a grave error has occured seeing as the ninjas would obviously be winning and the universal overlord chuck norris would side with the zombies as to save them from extinction not out of pity but so he can kill them himself.
#7 aaaaarrrhhg on 2007-06-21 03:46 (Reply)

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